Made me smile

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burnie
NER J27 0-6-0
Posts: 136
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:47 pm

Made me smile

Post by burnie » Sun Jun 25, 2017 10:52 am

My train spotter friend decided to end it all last week and threw himself in front of a steam locomotive going full tilt. In the end he was chuffed to bits.

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manna
LNER A4 4-6-2 'Streak'
Posts: 3235
Joined: Sun May 24, 2009 12:56 am
Location: Booborowie. S. Aust

Re: Made me smile

Post by manna » Sun Jun 25, 2017 9:05 pm

G'Day Gents

What a way to go.

Work this one out.
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EDGWARE GN, Steam in the Suburbs.

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2392
GNSR D40 4-4-0
Posts: 202
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 9:29 pm
Location: South of the Tyne.

Re: Made me smile

Post by 2392 » Sun Jun 25, 2017 9:22 pm

Another that makes me smile is BT and default other telephonic providers. With If there's a fault on your telephone, 'phone this number......... My question in return be how, it's on the blink?!

lu4472ke
GNR J52 0-6-0T
Posts: 29
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 8:17 pm

Re: Made me smile

Post by lu4472ke » Sat Oct 19, 2019 12:47 pm

A motorhome driver reports to the police a driver who is breaking the speed limit.

When the police catches the driver the policeman asks "do you know why I've pulled you over"

"Yes I do" says the driver

"Well, its nearly the end of my shift. If I report you I have to go back to the station and fill out paperwork, which means I will be doing overtime because my shift will have ended and my tea will be going cold. if you can think of a good reason I haven't heard before as to why you were speeding I will let you off" says the policeman.

"My wife ran off with a policeman 20 years ago and I thought you were trying to give her back."

giner
LNER A3 4-6-2
Posts: 1384
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 5:17 am
Location: Alberta - ex. Stevenage

Re: Made me smile

Post by giner » Sat Oct 19, 2019 2:13 pm

I'm walking down the High St. and this bloke jumps out from an alleyway and says, "Hey! Give me your credit cards!"

I told him, "No problem, mate. You won't spend as much as my wife does."

lu4472ke
GNR J52 0-6-0T
Posts: 29
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 8:17 pm

Re: Made me smile

Post by lu4472ke » Sat Oct 19, 2019 9:51 pm

A pun walks in a room and kills 10 people

Pun in, 10 dead

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manna
LNER A4 4-6-2 'Streak'
Posts: 3235
Joined: Sun May 24, 2009 12:56 am
Location: Booborowie. S. Aust

Re: Made me smile

Post by manna » Mon Oct 21, 2019 9:22 pm

G'Day Gents.

manna
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EDGWARE GN, Steam in the Suburbs.

Mickey
NER J27 0-6-0
Posts: 129
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2019 7:27 am

Re: Made me smile

Post by Mickey » Fri Oct 25, 2019 9:49 am

Not so much 'a joke' but a true amusing story told to me by a past railwayman (about half a dozen times over as though he had never told me it before?) anyway at Marylebone station a group of British Rail 'railman' back in the 1970s were sitting in the 'railman's lobby' chatting over a mug of tea one day and the subject of the war came up (WW2) and each man in turn recalled his wartime military service with the first bloke saying that he had served in RAF Bomber Command as a tail gunner on the Lancaster's then the next bloke recounted his time in the 8th Army under Monty and serving as a desert rat in north Africa then the next bloke said that he had been in the RN on the Atlantic convoys facing U-boat attacks then the next bloke said that he had been a Para and was on the 'Arnhem jump' in 44 over Holland anyway it finally came to the last bloke and they said "Wot was you in then mate?." and the last bloke said "Zee 10th Brandenberg Rifles." So after a collective look around at one another one of the group says "The 10th Brandenberg Rifles?. I've never heard of that mob in the British army before??."

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