The LNER Encyclopedia

Ay up! Just heard that direction signs entering Yorkshire on the M6 have been nicked. Police are looking for Leeds.

G'Day Gents

G'Day Gents


A, wot !

Paddy goes to the doctor and says, "I've been married ten years and there's still no patter of little feet." Doctor says, "I'll have to do a test. Take this little bottle home and bring me back a sample of your sperm."

The next day Paddy's back at the doctor's. Slamming the bottle on the desk he says, "I tried with me right hand, I tried with me left hand. The wife tried with her right hand and she tried with her left hand. But we still can't get the bloody top off.

Just finished my latest read “Fights On A Narrowboat” by R.G. Bargee

G'Day Gents

G'Day Gents

Husband comes home in tears from the doctor's. "I've only got till midnight to live," he says to his wife. Breaking down herself, she says, "I'll do anything for you." Hubby says, "I want us to be like we were as youngsters. Let's make love like never before." "Okay," says the wife, and up the stairs they go. When they're done, hubby looks at the bedside clock and says, "Oh no! It's 11 o'clock! Come on love, just one more time."
"Bugger off," says the wife, "I've got to be up for work in the morning. You haven't."

I told my psychiatrist I couldn’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head.

He said “Tell me more”.

G'Day Gents

I dunno about madness being hereditary but I'm certain the bloody kids have driven me MAD !!!!

G'Day Gents

Lots of good ones coming out.