The LNER Encyclopedia

Bloke goes into the butcher's. "Goooood morning!" he says cheerily. The butcher says, "My my, you're bright and breezy this morning."

The bloke says, "Yes, on top of the world. How old do you think I am?" The butcher ponders and says, "37/38?" "Nope, I'm 56," comes the reply.

A few minutes later the bloke's at the bus stop when a little old lady toddles up behind him and loudly proclaims, "I'm 85 today,"

"Well, happy birthday. How old do you think I am?" he says. She replies, "Let me put me my hand down the front of your trousers and I'll tell you, to the year."

He says, "Go on, then." So she fumbles around for a minute or two, takes her hand out and says, "You're 56."

"Bloody hell! How do you know that?"

"Simple," she says, "I was behind you in the queue at the butcher's just now."

G'Day Gents

Would you invite this fellow over for a B-B-Q.................

G'Day Gents

Sums up 2020.......I think. Happy New Year, Everyone, stay safe.

manna

G'Day Gents

G'day Gents

Hi all well paid my dues for the club(lner forum)seems I dont know how to start a subject(topic) mickey/manna/hatfield etc yeah I know...but something our cohorts with Buses/Trolleybuses seem to have delved in to is 'WHAT IF' so here goes to stir a thread from a bare pot @ least for us "railway fans"Standard 4MT tanks Broad street to Baldock/Jintys shunting Clarence Yard/Stanier 8's on New England to Ferme Park coal trains/Jubilees on the the Grimby's/N2's on Liverpool St to Shenfield/B1's on Euston to Northampton/Rugby, just a thought see what I mean, others may follow?Rgds jj

Old Dai is on his deathbed with Blodwen by his side. With tears in is eyes he turns to her and says, "Blod, I have to confess, I was unfaithful twice during our marriage."

Stunned, she says."Who with, Dai?"

He replies, "Betty Thomas at no. 43, then Mary Evans at no. 22."

"Well," says Blodwen, "I suppose I'd better confess. I strayed twice, too."

Dai says, "Oh, who with, then?"

Blodwen says, "First it was with Billy Williams, and then with the 2nd Battalion of The South Wales Borderers."

Went to the doctor last week with a sore throat. He said, "You've got Tom Jones-itis."

I asked, "Is it rare?" He said, "Well, it's not unusual."

G'Day Gents

Good one ( or two) 'giner

manna

I went into a pet shop last week and asked the girl behind the counter if she'd had a cockatoo in lately. That's how I got this fat lip.

G'Day Gents

About lisps - A girl is at the doctor's and the doctor says, "Big breaths." The girl replies, "Yeth, and I'm only thixteen."

G'Day Gents

manna wrote: ↑Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:59 pmG'Day Gents

Best one yet!!!

G'Day Gents