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Re: Made me smile

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2020 6:32 pm
by giner
Bloke goes into the butcher's. "Goooood morning!" he says cheerily. The butcher says, "My my, you're bright and breezy this morning."

The bloke says, "Yes, on top of the world. How old do you think I am?" The butcher ponders and says, "37/38?" "Nope, I'm 56," comes the reply.

A few minutes later the bloke's at the bus stop when a little old lady toddles up behind him and loudly proclaims, "I'm 85 today,"

"Well, happy birthday. How old do you think I am?" he says. She replies, "Let me put me my hand down the front of your trousers and I'll tell you, to the year."

He says, "Go on, then." So she fumbles around for a minute or two, takes her hand out and says, "You're 56."

"Bloody hell! How do you know that?"

"Simple," she says, "I was behind you in the queue at the butcher's just now."

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2020 6:54 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

Would you invite this fellow over for a B-B-Q.................

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2020 9:00 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

Sums up 2020.......I think. Happy New Year, Everyone, stay safe.

manna

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2021 11:54 am
by manna
G'Day Gents

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2021 4:57 am
by manna
G'day Gents

Re: Made me smile&others

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:28 am
by rockinjohn
Hi all well paid my dues for the club(lner forum)seems I dont know how to start a subject(topic) mickey/manna/hatfield etc yeah I know...but something our cohorts with Buses/Trolleybuses seem to have delved in to is 'WHAT IF' so here goes to stir a thread from a bare pot @ least for us "railway fans"Standard 4MT tanks Broad street to Baldock/Jintys shunting Clarence Yard/Stanier 8's on New England to Ferme Park coal trains/Jubilees on the the Grimby's/N2's on Liverpool St to Shenfield/B1's on Euston to Northampton/Rugby, just a thought see what I mean, others may follow?Rgds jj

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 5:33 am
by giner
Old Dai is on his deathbed with Blodwen by his side. With tears in is eyes he turns to her and says, "Blod, I have to confess, I was unfaithful twice during our marriage."

Stunned, she says."Who with, Dai?"

He replies, "Betty Thomas at no. 43, then Mary Evans at no. 22."

"Well," says Blodwen, "I suppose I'd better confess. I strayed twice, too."

Dai says, "Oh, who with, then?"

Blodwen says, "First it was with Billy Williams, and then with the 2nd Battalion of The South Wales Borderers."

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 10:46 pm
by giner
Went to the doctor last week with a sore throat. He said, "You've got Tom Jones-itis."

I asked, "Is it rare?" He said, "Well, it's not unusual."

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 8:27 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

Good one ( or two) 'giner :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

manna

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 11:59 pm
by giner
I went into a pet shop last week and asked the girl behind the counter if she'd had a cockatoo in lately. That's how I got this fat lip.

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2021 8:13 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 7:53 am
by giner
:D :lol:

About lisps - A girl is at the doctor's and the doctor says, "Big breaths." The girl replies, "Yeth, and I'm only thixteen."

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:59 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents