The LNER Encyclopedia

G'Day Gents

G'Day Gents

G'Day Gents

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a shopping centre. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen a lift) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old woman with a cane moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady ambled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24 year-old blonde stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.

"Go get your Mother."

G'Day Gents

The wife says to me, “Let's have a bit of excitement and re-enact how we met. You stand at the bar and I'll walk up and say, 'hey handsome, can I buy you a drink?' “ I told her straight, “ I'm not falling for that one again.”

I did my bit for the planet. I just unplugged five electric cars that nobody was using.

G'Day Gents

Love that one giner.......

Maybe this will help the Planet (Not that there's anything wrong with it)

HaHa! Going green, you might say. Pretty close to Apple Green, too.

G'Day Gents

Before my surgery the anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation.

My son is taking part in a social experiment. He has to wear an orange Just Stop Oil t-shirt for two weeks to gauge reaction. So far he's been spat on, punched, and had a bottle thrown at him. I'm curious to see what happens when he goes out of the house.

I phoned the Urology department last week. The receptionist says, "Can you hold, please?" Cheeky little bugger.

Where do Bad Rainbows go?


Prism!

It's a light sentence and it gives them time to reflect