The LNER Encyclopedia

G'Day Gents



manna

LOL! Seagull.

Yorkshireman goes to the vet about his cat. Vet says, “ Is it a tom?”. The yorkshireman says, “Nay lad, it's in t'basket here wi' me.”

Young couple have a baby.

Eventually, the nipper says it's first word, which is "gandad"

The following day, the mother is shocked to hear that her seemingly fit and well father had died suddenly.

A few weeks later the bairn says its 2nd word which is "dog"

The following day, they're shocked to find their mutt lying dead in the garden.

Coincidence or wot?

A short while later the wean says its 3rd word "anti" (or was that "aunty"?)

Sure enough the following day mum finds out her sister has shuffled off this mortal coil too.

Inevitably the child says its next word which is "Dad"

Dad of course is scared witless. He calls all his family, tells them how much he loves them, and decides the following day, he'll take himself off to be by himself in the countryside where he feels at home (but first telling his wife exactly where he's going - he's no fool!)

The day goes on by slowly, as he contemplates how the end will come. Lunchtime comes and goes, but he's not hungry. By mid afternoon, he's beginning to think all the other deaths were coincidence. By dinner time, he's convinced it was coincidence - and he goes home...

... where he hears that the man next door has dropped dead suddenly.

I was in psychology class yesterday and we were all laughing about how stupid Pavlov’s dogs were. Then the bell rang and we all went out and had lunch.

Anyone saying marriage is an equal partnership is talking utter rubbish.
When i got married i gave up my mates, football and drinking. All the wife gave up was sex.

G'Day Gents