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Re: Made me smile

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2021 4:52 am
by giner
I picked up a hitch-hiker last night. He said, “Thanks, but you’re taking a bit of a risk. How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”
I told him, “Come on now, what are the odds of having two serial killers travelling in the same car?"

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:57 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2021 8:41 pm
by giner
Scouser on holiday in northern Canada goes into a bar. Sat in the corner was this big Indian chief who was known as the Memory Man. I'll test this bloke out, thinks the scouser. "Who won the FA Cup in 1965?" he says. Straight back the Memory Man says, "Liverpool, 1-0, Ian St. John." The scouser's well impressed.

Two years later, the scouser's back in the same bar, walks up to the Memory Man and greets him with, "How!"

The Memory Man says, "Diving header."

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 10:45 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

:lol: :lol: :lol: Like that one.

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2021 10:27 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2021 9:04 pm
by giner
Guide to human chromosomes:

XX = Female
XY = Male
YYY = Delilah.

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2021 7:11 pm
by giner
I was out in my herb garden yesterday. Could've sworn I heard the BeeGees singing, but it was just the chives talkin'.

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2021 3:17 am
by giner
I started a new band yesterday called 999 Megabytes. We haven't got a gig yrt.

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2021 7:56 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

Bom Bom........... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2021 10:55 pm
by giner
:lol: :lol:

A psychologist is conducting group therapy with three couples. He says, "Today we'll discuss your obsessions."

He says to first fella, "You're obsessed with money, you even married a woman named Penny."

To the second fella he says, "You're obsessed with food, you even married a woman named Olive."

The third fella turns to his wife and says, "That's it. We're out of here, Fanny, we're not here to get insulted."

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2021 10:58 pm
by giner
Mate of mine got fired from his job on the dodgems. He's doing them for funfair dismissal.

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2021 10:04 pm
by manna
G'Day Gents

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2021 1:15 am
by manna
G'day Gents

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2021 4:17 am
by giner
My friend is in hospital after falling over and getting part of the hoover in his mouth.
I just called to see how he is and they said He's picking up!

Re: Made me smile

Posted: Sat Aug 28, 2021 3:16 am
by giner
And why should you never buy a pair of jeans from Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fall out.